DESTINY

life is destiny,destiny binds,

destiny rules;all our minds

destiny controls,yet free our souls

destiny saves,from torentous waves.

destiny is known,yet we fear.

death is dreaded;our lives are dear.

yet we die,destiny lives

and are born again,when a mother conceives.

mother

she bore me for nine months ,and nine days

yet we were different in our ways.

without me,she would not eat ,a morsel of food;

yet i hurt her all i could.

with the last ounce of blood she protected me,

yet to her deathbed,i never went to see.

now i am a mother,and bearing child;

and will at last,be one of her kind.

who lives and loves,dedicating her life.

never expecting her child to give.

yet she loves,and loves more;

for is she a mother to the core.

TRIBUTE TO ALL MOTHERS INCLUDING MINE...

WHO HAVE SACRIFICED MAJOR PARTS OF THEIR LIVES, TO GIVE US A BETTER FUTURE...

.A STANDING APPEAL TO EVERYONE WHO READS MY BLOG.....YOUR MOTHER IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO WILL SACRIFICE HER LAST OUNCE OF BLOOD FOR YOU..PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HER,GIVE THE WHAT SHE DESERVES FROM YOU... PROOF HER WORTH, BY BEING WORTHY OF HER LOVE AND CARE.

vacuum....and war

life is a lonely road

full of gaps and blanks.

i walk ahead through it

my feet not touching the vaccuum beneath

my head held high.....................

defying the vast expance of space

............i choose to discard the famine of humanity.

my heart filled with zeal to fight,

my mind yearning for knowledge,

my whole being overwhelmed with what i possess.

i refuse to be engulfed..................

............. into the blackhole of gloom

i fill all gaps someday, with what i can process

.................from withen the core of my bosom

yes its love and compassion....

and humanity

my body aches beneath the weight i carry

.................the burden of shame

being a part of mankind,

which has lost humanity................

driven themselves insane

with greed and power

..................yet i disagree.....ill shake the burden of me,

and gradually of all

i will oneday get back,

what we lost

the war isnt over

vacuum can never triumph..............................not as long as im there

om gurave namaha..........

its the dawn of my life..a new beginning ..towards a new end..

the end of miseries maybe..awaiting fresh mistakes

i start my day with the words................

" om gurave namaha"

my guru .......who is what i never know

the man much flawed, a teacher ,a mentor ,a friend.......

yet human ..or may be my gift from god....

my guru..what can i say about him

an old man....though younger than me at times.....

irrationally radical maybe..........

calm ..........resembling the clamth before a storm,

stern ............yet amazingly liberal............

knowledge is in his blood

transfering it into me................

my viens seems to burst at its pressure

lost often in metaphhors i dont understand..................

randomly fighting multiple duels and battles..............

i emerge a warrior ........attaining mastery in my skill

"practice makes perfect " -he says

read read and write........my brain might explode one day

or may be ....................

yet i say "om gurave namaha"

for i know that my guru makes no mistake

however human............i can feel his power to rekindle and create

the power he now teaches to control within me

at twilight i smile

i know i have grown a million years each day

i have what all seek to obtain

i have me within me.......... my shakti

i smile again

on my way home

i look back

i say

"om guruve namaha"

im not a poet

yet my verses feel poetry withen their being

im not a lover

yet my eyes see love all around

im not a hero

yet my heart is braver than she can tolerate

im not u

yet i can be me, by living through u

unconditional

i was walking down the memory lane yesterday,
reliving your love within me
realizing what i lost
reviving the feelings of "unconditional"

you had promised it would be unconditional.. remember?
you had promised me the world ,when i didn't want it.
vowed to love me forever.
i knew deep within you were lying....
our thoughts would always differ

u had said you wanted nothing but love
love that was unconditional and free
why did you shun me then
leave me alone when i wanted you
to hold me tight in your arms
and give me what you called unconditional

how come you called me a slut
when week ago i was a goddess to you
how could you bruise my arm
when months back my headache made you cry

why did you leave your little baby
out in the world of hounds
shut her out of the world she was
where love knew no bounds


now that your gone
your little kid is all alone
she looks for you in her memory lane
searching in vain for what you had termed "unconditional"

.............finito

i look at those happy faces ,
all smiling in blissful mirth.
they love to see me play the fool
my antics make them laugh
i juggle ,and jump, shout and scream
to them i am a funny dream
i am tired yet i dance
my body aches with every stance
i mock myself along with them
disguising my tears of shame
im tired of being me...u know
tired of making them smile
just tired of wearing insults
like id wear my new jacket
it makes me sick in my mind
to see how they leech at me
ogle at my painted nose
laugh at peculiar shoes
they wouldn't look closer u know
i know they are scared to see,
the distortion beneath....
of what they have made me
scared to death they are within
they know very well their sin
a day will come,when the paint will wash off
they'll have to look at the effect of their action
my face distorted,my laughter, then screams
screeching in pain,they'll come down to me
begging mercy
....................for having bleed me to death,robbing me of happiness
so that they could laugh freely ......at my expense
i am expensive u know..................its time i ask my worth..
rob them off what they call happiness.........deprive them of life.

me ,myself and fantasy

have you ever wanted to fly high ,across the vast seas,crossing long stretches of green land,makes you feel like a soul,covering distances mankind dreads to cross. life seems to be so beautiful,almost engrossing at times.yet sleepless nights gives me shivers.......... its nice to see the soul lift itself up higher and higher, in a golden chariot of smoke and sulfur dust...
death seems to be a welcome friend, the person we all confide in, hiding our face in his shadows. we run away from the big bad world into his arms, for peace..........peace ,,well she is a harmless person very consoling all the time...calms your mind.
yet sleepless nights gives me shivers ....my heart seems like it would burst out. so much within... i wish death was nearby. he was such a welcome escape....they wont let him come to me now...... they want me to suffer..........my ideas are taking their revenge. ive trapped them in me,cooped them up in my brain, they are struggling to break free ..........strong chains of sanity binds them.......... help is all i need..... your scared to help me i know....... im claustrophobic within , my soul revolts ....she wants to fly away across the green meadows of fantasy..... they wont let death come
my ideas are exuding their vengeance onto me..........pouring out their poison into my veins, my blood turns black...............im loosing my sanity.......my soul raped of sanctity,........they want revenge now, from me from u and from the world.................my fantasy flies away. my meadows turn into desert......................im loosing it......... death is all i crave for.......... let me go.......my charoit is leaving ....please let me go........please