me ,myself and fantasy

have you ever wanted to fly high ,across the vast seas,crossing long stretches of green land,makes you feel like a soul,covering distances mankind dreads to cross. life seems to be so beautiful,almost engrossing at times.yet sleepless nights gives me shivers.......... its nice to see the soul lift itself up higher and higher, in a golden chariot of smoke and sulfur dust...
death seems to be a welcome friend, the person we all confide in, hiding our face in his shadows. we run away from the big bad world into his arms, for peace..........peace ,,well she is a harmless person very consoling all the time...calms your mind.
yet sleepless nights gives me shivers ....my heart seems like it would burst out. so much within... i wish death was nearby. he was such a welcome escape....they wont let him come to me now...... they want me to suffer..........my ideas are taking their revenge. ive trapped them in me,cooped them up in my brain, they are struggling to break free ..........strong chains of sanity binds them.......... help is all i need..... your scared to help me i know....... im claustrophobic within , my soul revolts ....she wants to fly away across the green meadows of fantasy..... they wont let death come
my ideas are exuding their vengeance onto me..........pouring out their poison into my veins, my blood turns black...............im loosing my sanity.......my soul raped of sanctity,........they want revenge now, from me from u and from the world.................my fantasy flies away. my meadows turn into desert......................im loosing it......... death is all i crave for.......... let me go.......my charoit is leaving ....please let me go........please